Rock maiden on a mission

 Imagine headlining a concert, knowing that people bought tickets to see you perform.

Imagine standing onstage, spotlight trained on you. The massive audience is fired up, applauding your mere presence. 

Imagine being Kitchie Nadal, performing to an excited crowd. They know the words to your songs, and as you hear them sing along and see them clap with gusto, you are elated and you think, "Oh, I'm so good!"

But you're not Kitchie.

Photo: Mari Arquiza

The 26-year-old singer-songwriter has her feet planted more firmly on the ground than to let the apparent adulation conjure fantasies of, say, being the object of hero worship to millions. Sure, a double-platinum album and a huge following among the concert-going populace are nothing to balk at, but based on what she says, she sees the whole concert thing in a different light.

"Humbling ang mag-perform (Performing is humbling)," she insists. "Humbling because you bare yourself, and you can make mistakes. A lot of very good artists don't want to perform because they're afraid to make mistakes."

The possibility of messing up in front of hordes of fans can be intimidating but then isn't there also the possibility that with such fears, it's pride at work? Hence, Kitchie's acknowledgement of performing being humbling for her since it somehow makes her more vulnerable.

Apparently, the constant exposure to those humbling experiences has translated into the humility to admit shortcomings in other aspects of life. When talk shifts to matters of the heart, she remarks unassumingly that she always had a part in her relationships' having gone awry (we all know that it takes two to tango, so to speak, but a woman admitting that she's largely -- or even partly -- the reason for a relationship not working out is highly unusual). Admittedly, too, it wasn't all that bad.

"Of course, we inspired each other. I also learned a lot about accepting everything about the other person -- which is not always a good thing," she adds. No elaboration here, just the remark that it's why the relationships didn't last.

It's a wonder, though, that Kitchie has lasted this long, considering what she's been up to the past year. She embarked on a US concert tour that included gigs in New York, Baltimore, Chicago, Hollywood, and Las Vegas (check out www.KitchieNadal.net, www.rocacruz.com and www.arQuiza.com for more about that). Before that, the Aliw Award and Awit Award-recipient was in the Middle East, giving Pinoys in Dubai and Abu Dhabi a taste of her music.

Amid all this, don't forget that Kitchie is still in the midst of completing her double major in Education and Psychology at De La Salle University. The last half-year or so had her laboring over her thesis in between gigs and other extra-curricular commitments; now she's all set to start her practicum, which has her doing clinics at a private hospital's psychiatry department.

The 'drugs' thing
When the thesis gets its final grade stamped on it and with clinics completed, she'll be a full-fledged graduate by summer! Till then, she'll be juggling the demands of academic life with recording a new CD, writing for other artists, preparing for her March 9 major concert wherein she rocks the Big Dome again with Barbie Almalbis, and holding various gigs in and outside Manila. Is it any wonder then that this student/singer/songwriter/performer became almost dangerously gangly with noticeably dark under-eye circles? No, it's not surprising at all with so many things going on in her life all at once. It's not surprising either that word went around that she was messing with drugs, especially with a couple of photos of her "new look" posted on her websites.

"She was born with eyebags," deadpans Kitchie's manager and friend, Roca Cruz. "Ayaw naman niya ipa-retoke yung pictures para tanggalin yung eyebags (She didn't want to have the photos retouched to remove the eyebags). And she's been doing her thesis, then her gigs abroad. Pumayat talaga siya (She really lost weight), and... she was able to do all that only because of God's grace."

Plus, around the time of the interview, she was set to spend 11 pm till dawn for several days to record the songs for her new CD, due out in March. Why the graveyard-shift schedule to do that? Classes had already started then, and so daytime had her busy with school stuff.

Kitchie quietly dismisses the drug-use speculation. "Hindi ako magda-drugs. Nasa psychology ako so alam ko ang effects ng mga gamot (I won't do drugs. I'm in the field of psychology so I know the effects of drugs)."

This rock musician, who also won a Kid's Choice Award given by the Nickelodeon Channel, is no neophyte when it comes to working like a horse. She's gone overboard before, putting school on hold temporarily to go full-time into her music -- which at that time she did as Mojofly's vocalist. She learned a lot, one of which was that she failed to appreciate family enough.

All in the family
"I was working for two years straight, then later I realized I had been missing so many important things already like... birthdays of family members, special occasions. After that, I decided to be more relaxed and I began to have more direction."

Photo: Mari Arquiza

Needless to say, her priorities changed. One incident that really opened her eyes to how indispensable family is, was a day that found her all alone at home. Her mom was out of the country and her siblings were nowhere in sight.

"Walang tao sa bahay (No one was home) and I realized I had been taking family for granted," she laments. "You know that they're always there. Alam mo 'yon? I also know that they're part of the reason I was able to achieve what I have, and I have that security that they'll be there to support me..."

Another family of sorts for Kitchie is the group of trusted friends who share her faith. Accompanied by some of these friends including manager Roca, the artist went on another trip in December, one she had been looking forward to for so long. The destination? India, where they stayed for over two weeks, taking in the sights and sounds, and for Kitchie, resting from work while absorbing the intensity of the locals. 

"I like going to countries where the people are intense -- Third World countries... but then the Philippines is also a Third World country," she muses. "But Filipinos take many things for granted and I don't find many people here intense. Well, intensity is relative but that's the way I look at it."

Where the depth comes from
In India, the people demonstrated their spirituality more outwardly, according to Kitchie. People will sometimes start meditating wherever they are, which is a far cry from what one normally sees on Philippine shores. Notwithstanding cultural differences and personality traits, such demonstrations of spirituality that the rock maiden saw in Indians appealed to her. The exposure had such an impact on her that she easily refers to the recent trip as a major turning point in her life. Also of much significance was meeting one of her best friends, who is Indian -- again, presumably after seeing that potential richness of an interior life that's more in touch with concerns beyond the temporal.

Which is why for this multi-awarded artist, music and performing are not only about the art, about technique, or even about intellectual honesty. Missionary work is what she ultimately wants to do, and right now, songwriting and guitar-wielding figure perfectly into that dream, anchored on a faith that continues to be nourished. So even though she's delighted by how she's able to touch music lovers, it's about much more than the sell-out crowds, double-platinum albums, and the spotlight. When you're on a mission, the music you make takes on a much deeper meaning than all of that put together.


Love Life magazine
2007