Finding yourself

Diana Uichanco





Suddenly you realize: another carefree summer with its sun-and-beach lifestyle is about to end, rains and floods are soon to come again, and the year is almost on its halfway mark…”Huh? Nangangalahati na ang taon? What have I accomplished?”

Time does seem to pass by at a frantic pace sometimes, or…is it we who are frantic? Well, one thing’s for sure—when you let the harried pace get to you, this can affect not just your work or family duties but even the way you relate with yourself and others.

So how do you juggle being a daughter, sister, parent, friend, worker (or student) and other roles you may be playing, and still maintain your sanity (and your good nature) — in other words, not be too weary to live life meaningfully and with direction? The secret is to make time for reflection.

If you feel like your days are so hectic that they seem to whiz by, you can begin by literally stopping right now, sitting down, and savoring the stillness. Now is as good a time as any to start your resolution to slow down. Let the following be your guide in your quest for inner peace:

Find quiet time 
Noise is probably a regular part of your day — loud music, banter, traffic, construction sites, the office printers, babies crying, the TV, the washing machine, the neighbors’ squabbles, and other sounds that give your eardrums their daily fill. It’s not all bad but we know that silence is a friend to anybody who aims for a life with meaning and direction.

To achieve serenity, external silence must first be found — only then can you sift through and get rid of the racket that has been disturbing your inner silence. This period toward the end of another season of sun, sea and sand can be just the chance to put calm into your life. Seize these moments to quiet down and spend more time on reflection. It’s the perfect time to think about where you have been, where you are, and where you want to be. Are you happy with the way things are going?

Write your thoughts down 
External silence will help de-clutter your mind and heart. When you’ve achieved this quietude, the inspirations are bound to come, be they a realization of disguised blessings, guidance on how to pursue professional goals, or a gentle “prompting” from above regarding some neglected duty.

Don’t let these inspirations slip away by relying solely on your memory (reflection requires practical sense, too)! Have a small journal ready to write down these bits of insight, for these pages will serve as your guide. This way, the how’s and why’s of your decisions will remain clear to you as you go along.

Listen 
For you who have had to put up with years of fast-paced living, constant disappointments, or simply an empty or broken spirit, listening will be hard to do at first. There is so much “talking” to be done —much like when you finally find a friend who listens or somebody who offers a shoulder to cry on. Go ahead! This is part of your reflection.

Pour out our heartaches, express your deepest concerns in the silence of your reflection, and rest in the assurance that Someone is listening to your every word. Even if you happen to doubt the existence of God, the reality that Someone is constantly following your affairs remains unchanged. After all, just because you don’t believe in something doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Whether your reflection flows out as written words in your journal or merely in your thoughts, there will also be a time for listening. In fact, the listening part is most crucial since anyone who is searching for something is really in need of guidance. And herein lies the splendor of deep reflection: when it is sincere, discoveries “big and small” are made. These are the fruits of quiet time, and they are sure to bring you the serenity that your harried self needs.

Experience the joy of daily reflection
Even 10 or 15 minutes of silence daily is enough — upon waking up in the morning, while cradling your baby to sleep, or just before getting into bed at night. If you really want to, you’ll find a way to have pockets of reflection throughout the day: on the ride to work or while doing the laundry at night is an opportune time to pause and ponder the day’s happenings and their implications.

What do you do if you can’t find a quiet corner or moment? Stay serene and focused. You will find the time soon enough if you really want to.

Ponder the beauty of your inner self now and then 
With regular reflection will come a discovery of your true person. And there’s something about realizing the beauty of your inner self that will give you a sense of peace. After all, no matter how much you pamper your body, it will not escape the ravages of gravity and time. But see how those who are happy with their interior life radiate authentic well-being.

Ponder the beauty of your inner self from time to time — forget flab and fashion — at least for a few minutes. You’ll find that this realization of your true worth will bring you serenity, which in turn will influence the way you relate with others.

And all it takes is a little quiet time everyday.

Woman Today magazine 
May 2002

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